Can we make panel chats... not shit?

I love it. Otherwise, I wouldn’t stay out until 3 a.m. each night with some guys whose names I’ll 100% forget and make up on the expense report. But there’s one thing I don’t love.

Why. So. Many. Shit. Panel. Chats.

You know the type. They wheel out someone who’s successfully managed a brand to not grow quicker than inflation for 20 years (aka. made a career shrinking brands) and plonk them next to an agency type and a moderator who’s sponsored the event for a seat.

If you’re lucky, it’s 20 minutes, and you can crack straight on with seeing how many drinks you can manage before asking Rory Sutherland for a go on his Lost Mary. If you’re unlucky, it’s 60 minutes with a Q&A.

My beef isn’t with the concept of experts sharing their interesting ideas or addressing industry trends or concerns that we all need to form opinions on. My beef is the fact that panel chats are NEVER INTERESTING. They’re always a gaggle of people answering pre-agreed questions, passing the same safe opinion around but re-wording it every time. I can honestly share now that I’ve never left a panel chat enthused or having learning something (beyond some rare exceptions).

Advertising used to be fun. Creatives used to bite their arms off to get into Saatchi & Saatchi. The parties were legendary. The culture was whack. Rob Mayhew tells stories of the Thursday drink trolly and Friday hangover clubs in the office. Sir John Hegarty was KNIGHTED for advertising. We were legends.

Now it’s PJs at 6pm, and work calls at 6am.

Our media-driven obsession with ROI, not offending, shareholder pleasing, fall to beige (pushed along by big FMCG procurement) feels like the massive elephant in the room that no one is talking about.

So, in the spirit of my new campaign to Make Advertising Fun Again, here are five ways we could make marketing panel chats enjoyable enough to get out of bed for.

Make it a roast

Comedy Central knows. Us humans love truth. And there’s no truer words than a mean joke. Let’s pick a willing brand, campaign, agency or industry figure and roast them. Then give someone the stand to roast back. We’d quickly get to something not only humorous and entertaining, but we’d actually hear some truth bombs to help us form an opinion.

Find a skillful moderator

Like good qualitative research, it’s only as good as its moderator. Skillful in shutting up the loud one, teasing out opposing opinions and getting to the insight nuggets that you know are buried beneath the surface. Almost like Steven Bartlett, a good podcast host who knows when to shut up but knows when to push on to get the tears out. The moderator should never be a sponsor. If you see this. Red flag. Go answer emails in the toilet and join for the shit-free bowl food after.

Make them argue

Ban any speaker that doesn’t have a hill to die on. No one is turning up to see people aggressively agree with each other. That is not what makes marketing, or life, interesting. We want to see opposing views, walks of life, takes on an idea that we ourselves might align with. Or even not align with. An idea that helps us test the extremes of our own beliefs and get a glimpse into someone else’s mind. Get some speakers that disagree with each other. That’s why Question Time can sometimes be interesting. That and it’s social voyeurism with a bunch of clowns.

Bring some damn slides

Any good B2B marketer knows that good content needs to share something of value. That’s why thought leadership works. A nice “thank you” for paying attention and a little demonstration of what that B2B brands are competent in. It’s how I’ve managed to grow my LinkedIn from 6k to 36k. Share value. If some of the panelists could share a few pre-conceived insights, maybe even a nickable chart you can go back to work and bash people round the head with, at least there’s some guaranteed solid content.

Feature a non-marketer?

Finally, Remember the golden years of Borat interviewing MPs? Shit that was good. Bring in a comedian, an entertaining or (god forbid) an actual consumer to cut through all the BS marketing acronyms and stop everyone publicly patting themselves on the back. They will share the sort of gifts a new joiner to the team will share exclusively in their first six months before they are beaten into the status quo. Challenge ideas and suggest new ways of doing things.

Now, I admit I’ve been on panels. And I admit I’ve bored myself. But we can surely all agree that wastage has to stop. Imagine the salary and turns in the wheels of commerce that are lost to us all sat their nodding along for 60 minutes at bad panel chats? Let’s Make Advertising Fun Again, aye?

You should read more of Andrew’s words here.